The Confessional Room: Episode One — The Sock Scandal Begin
Every clowder has its secrets. Every household has its drama. But only this one has a Confessional Room.
Welcome to the velvet‑lit chamber where the cats of the Pantheon step forward, one by one, to defend their honor, expose their rivals, and dramatically over‑explain events that absolutely did not need to be this complicated.
Today’s episode centers on a crime that shook the Hall of Shared Offerings:
The Disappearance of Bam’s Sacred Sock.
A mitten‑sock hybrid of great emotional significance — a relic infused with sunbeam warmth and generational pettiness — vanished under mysterious circumstances. Bam, Keeper of the Book of Betrayals, has logged this offense with the gravity of a queen wronged.
But before her official response is released to the public, two suspects have demanded their right to speak.
The lights dim. The camera clicks on. The treat bowl sits untouched.
It’s time for the rebuttals.
Dan’s Confessional
Dan gives his side
“I didn’t want the sock. I was framed by circumstances.”
Dan sits in the shadows, only his whiskers catching the light.
“Look… I didn’t steal anything. Speck offered me the sock. She said it was a diplomatic gesture. A peace treaty. A symbol of mutual respect between the Quiet Ones and the Glitter-Brained.
How was I supposed to know it was Bam’s sacred relic? Everything in this house smells like Bam.
And for the record, the cheese puff was not stale. It was… aged. Like a fine wine.
If Bam wants her sock back, she can check under the Throne Chair. I think it rolled.”
He crosses his paws, signaling he is done with this nonsense.
Speck’s Confessional
Speck gives her side
“I was conducting international relations.”
Speck bursts into frame like she’s been waiting her whole life for this moment.
“Okay FIRST OF ALL, I did not betray anyone. I was doing diplomacy.
Bam leaves her stuff everywhere. I thought the sock was a gift! A communal offering! A token of friendship!
And Dan looked sad that day. I was trying to cheer him up. I didn’t know it was a holy artifact.
Also, Bam has like twelve socks. She’ll survive.”
She knocks over the treat bowl for emphasis.
The accused have spoken. Their stories… do not match. And Bam has thoughts.
Her official rebuttal — fierce, dramatic, and absolutely convinced of her own correctness — will be released in its own scroll.
