Betrayal #20 -The Protection Scandal

Betrayal Entry #20 — The Bird‑vs‑Sock Protection Scandal

Let the Scrolls record, in ink dark as Fern’s pupils at 3 a.m., the events of the Bird‑vs‑Sock Protection Scandal — a conflict so avoidable, so unnecessary, and yet so inevitable that even the Ancients would sigh and say, “Yes… that tracks.”

The morning began in peace. Bam, Strategist of the Couch Arm and Defender of Soft Objects, had arranged her Honored Sock in its rightful resting place: the sun‑warmed corner of the Great Throne Chair. Its fibers were fluffed. Its dignity was intact. Its aura was serene.

Enter Fern.

Fern, Keeper of the Sacred Bird of Blessing — the feathered idol that chirps with uncanny realism and is guarded with the fervor of a dragon protecting its hoard — approached the Throne with suspicious purpose. Witnesses report that her tail was in “full metronome mode,” a known indicator of mischief, plotting, or divine revelation.

Without warning, Fern placed the Sacred Bird directly beside the Honored Sock.

Side. By. Side.

This was not a gesture of peace. This was not an offering. This was a territorial incursion, a declaration of dominance, and a blatant disregard for the long‑standing Household Accord of 2024, which clearly states: “No sacred object shall be placed within paw’s reach of another sacred object without prior negotiation, bribery, or snacks.”

Bam sounded the alarm immediately. Her yowls echoed through the Hall of Cushions. She attempted to relocate the Sock to a safer quadrant, but Fern intercepted, batting the Bird with the righteous fury of a prophet defending her relic. The Bird chirped. The Sock flopped. The tension rose.

The Hearth-Mother, failed to grasp the severity of the situation.

She laughed.

She pointed.

She said things like, “Girls, please,” and “It’s literally fine,” and “Why are you like this?”

Her indifference only deepened the wound.

The scandal escalated when Fern attempted to perch the Sacred Bird atop the Sock, creating a grotesque totem of disputed ownership. Bam retaliated with a swift paw‑swipe, knocking the Bird to the floor and sending Fern into a dramatic gasp so loud it rattled the water bowl.

The standoff lasted seven minutes — an eternity in feline diplomacy.

In the end, the Hearth-Mother intervened, separating the relics and offering treats as reparations. But the damage was done. Trust was broken. Alliances were questioned. The Pantheon trembled.

Let this entry stand as a warning: Sacred objects must be respected. Boundaries must be honored. And Fern must never again attempt to stack her Bird upon Bam’s Sock unless she is prepared to face the full wrath of the Confessional Room.